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I Was A Blank Canvas

by Adam Blasl

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1.
What creatures, soft inside a blonde head of hair? I wish I could see in there, Drowning, I'm the king of that, A sailor wears his cap, I wear a big chip on my shoulder I'm lost, dumb inside your brightness, I won't put up a fight miss, oh when you light me up 'Cus i'm caught in a shadow to which I can't live up, Oh in the shadow of our fleeting love What can I say? It has always been this way, Passionately chasing,and always second guessing Listen, no amount of brightness in the world could ever make me feel, Like I was more than a burden in your eyes But did you know how hard I tried, to see the beauty in myself? Oh I'm afraid I'm running out But baby in your eyes, most of me is lost, Another part is found deep down in a shadow of doubt Oh I'm always falling in love, Falling a bit too much, And I'm always the one who lends the heavy crutch, aching for her touch What can I say? I will probably stay this way, Glowing when my head is high, And sinking like a setting sky, Believe me, I never said that you were not allowed to move on with your life, It shouldn't hurt and it doesn't anymore Now I'm thinking then why did I pretend that I was speaking truth, to say that I got over you? I only did deny it, but when I looked in your eyes, I wanted me to still be there, and I wanted you to see me through Oh I realized that was wrong, holding on to what was gone, More the fault of me, thinking I was none and that I didn't deserve love, and so to you I clung Oh only be friend of mine, Never ever less or more, But I wonder now what do you take me for, Being the one who closed that door...
2.
You're here now, but only for so long, I fear now now, are we only held together by a thread that binds a place? And maybe it will sever with time and space, For sure as hell I told myself there'll never come a day, When we compromise, to not again relate What are we to call ourselves, Anything but random chance, skewed by lucky circumstance? Promise me there's something more, Through the crevasse great in depth, although we may all feel inept at love, I'll stand by you Old friend, I thought you'd stay a while, Cold sand, Had it had a hand in falling though our hourglass with no preface? And calling done an epilogue of smiling grace, For sure as hell I told myself, it never was too late, I feared you may be gone, but I never lost the taste Remember when we poured out hearts over a canvas, And gazed at artificial stars? And all that we could do was laugh, At the nothingness that had crept over us, High on a life that would soon be forgot And though this travel may seem tough, I fear you're growing weary, that you've maybe had enough When I say that I can only stay for a week or for a day I'm hoping Oh I'm hoping, That you don't write me off
3.
He's a birthright bagel defender, He was born with all he could knead, With a brain as plain and sharp as paper, Hardly ever had a conscience to feed Well he lit that smothered ember, Oh I believe he lit her coveted flame, 'Till the bread got burnt some early September, And it taught'em how to choke on pain And you know it'll never be the same! Smothered out and scoured in doubt, To build a girl up and to topple back down, Topple back down... Well the repartee was highly addictive, Did we let it get to our heads? While the two of us, were choking on sickness, He was dealing in butter and bread And she was so slow to bear witness, And was gone with the dawn and the dusk, While he slept unaware of the business, That had shattered the three of us And even if he was out of his mind! I won't be blind...
4.
Bayview 04:14
And I still take the train home, The wait is not as long as the one she used to take, But it feels just as long, When your open arms are what awaits me at the gate, open hearts And I would play in dirt all day, if it means we were together, And I could lay in your bed forever, But I'm the one who pulled the sheets away, I want to seize the day, With you... Safe and sound in green pen, Photographic evidence of what I guess, Thought would never end, Take the Polaroids and all your gorgeous friends, Though I wish them all the best Walking back with empty hands, Save from the record I left, Yellow light of the August sky, Shine on the newly bereft, Sitting as the city buses pass, twenty minutes back, from you... from you...
5.
Pull over your grey cotton blend, So November comes again, I got a text from my landlord, Clearly we're a neighborhood threat! God forbid a breath of passion bleeds, though the drywall, yellow leaves, I'm sorry the thing that keeps, us all sane, Is your disease! Is there anyone you can please? I wanna be like the bees, who dedicate their lives to loving flowers! Drifting in an autumn breeze I wanna be like the leaves, In November! Well bury your nose in a boring bed, Of sheets of paper you know you dread, Slacker year, not the best, Is this gunna be on the test? Well god forbid that I had some time, To clear the cobwebs in my mind, The future balances on your back, And every road is like a cul-de-sac! Oh I wanna be like the sun, That can spit out a ton, Despite all the gravity and growing pressure! Drowning in a cotton shroud I wanna be like the clouds, In November! It never ends!

about

A short collection of songs written since 2015 about relationships, friendships, and personal growth.
Here, I envision myself as a canvas; one which began as plain white, only to be marked with color by the experiences that have molded me into the current version of myself.
Personal experiences both good and bad add swaths lightness and darkness, creating a portrait of ones self which is both messy, yet undeniably unique and beautiful.
The album art, a collaborative painting created by myself and dear friends, was created without intention or expectation, and serves as a visual metaphor for such a portrait.
The painting is also imagined as a representation of honest friendship, and is referenced in the lyrics of 'A Portrait of Friendship'.

credits

released March 11, 2018

Recorded on Meadowloands Dr E Ottawa ON - Winter 2017

All Songs Written and Preformed by:
Adam Blasl

Produced and Recorded by:
Andrew Lacelle

Engineered by:
Brandon Turner

Mix and Mastered by:
Ken Tierny
Turn to Salt Productions
Hull QC

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all rights reserved

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Adam Blasl Ottawa, Ontario

A Thoughtful Guy

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